Star Date #5
The girl led me over several little wooden pathways from platform to platform. She seemed very steady and undaunted. Whereas I, from the combined terror of my poison induced hangover and natural fear of these type of situations, would clamber from one platform to the next. Hurrying over every little suspended walkway in between as if the steps behind me were on fire.
We went into a hut, where a little gathering of forest people (that's not racist, right?) were gathered as if in wait for our arrival. The girl was right. They did look a little foresty and wild. They were mostly naked. With little loincloths made from a leathery material that I couldn't quite place. Probably one of the other indigenous species that we had yet to encounter. I wondered what marvellous effects their bites would have on me.
Their skins were browner than us, though not quite dark. They had little glowing smudges of some paste or clay in interesting patterns over some parts of their bodies. The men looked quite muscular (again I felt a twinge of insecurity towards my dreamgirl) and most of the women were topless. If I wasn't so incredibly confused and hungover I would've found it super awesome.
A big, 40-ish looking man in the middle approached me and held out his hand. I shook it. He had a pendant around his neck that looked really cool and tribaly. I secretly hoped it would have magic powers that could send us back home. Not that I wanted to go home immediately. But it just would have been cool if the pendant had been super magic and not just a piece of sculpted rock. Ah well, can't have everything.
"Welcome." He said. "I am the Chief of this village, Patalolo."
"Thanks, I said. And thanks for saving us. Or at least taking care of us."
He looked at me with friendly, wise eyes that seemed to say. 'It's nothing, you adorable weakling.'
All of a sudden I startled. Jumped back a few inches and screamed.
"Wait! You're talking ENGLISH?!!! What the f.. What? Why? How...?"
"English?" The man asked. "This is Ursi, our native language. How do you call it?"
"English." I said. Immediately understanding that this must then be some kind of enormous cosmic coincidence, and consequently dropping the subject to ask more relevant questions.
"Where are we? What year is it? What planet are we on?"
"Where?" The man said. "You're in Gantalo, our main village. Year? I don't understand. Planet? Earth, of course." He answered me like I was crazy, or still drunk from the snakebite.
"EARTH?!!! No way. You're kidding me, right?"
"No, it seems we're still on earth." The girl said, looking at me wisely. As if during my slumber she had absorbed all the knowledge of this strange new place and was now an expert.
"Motherf.." I exclaimed. "You mean to tell me that we went all the way through an interdimensional portal, maybe the first of our kind ever to do so. And we haven't even left the fucking planet?" (At this point I was feeling really self conscious about my swearing. Having no clue if the indigenous people found it offensive or not. Maybe they didn't understand it even. But I was too shook and agitated to really care. "MotherFUCKER!"
"You are not from here?" The chief asked me with a confused look in his eyes. "Well I guess I am!" I yelled. A little too loudly.
The whole crowd started laughing at me. I really didn't feel like the brave warrior champion that had stepped so boldly through the portal just a few hours ago.