Star Date #7
After all the people in the hut had left, the chief sat down with me and my baby (you're never going to get her name, so stop hoping. I'm just going to refer to her in all kinds of sugarcoated terms of endearment until the end of times. Or at least this story).
"So you guys haven't seen our bowling ball, then?" I asked. Not really knowing what else to ask and trying to steer away from the infuriating topic that we never left the atmosphere of mother fucking earth. Be it in another dimension.
"Sorry, no. Your friend told me what it looked like, though. Round, shiny. With three finger-holes in it. And you guys use it for throwing at something called a 'stack'?"
"Well, I call it a stack. Hey, you do too!" I said to my girl affectionately. Finally calming down a little. She nodded assuringly, and then gave me a wink. Ahh, there was our bond again. Our interstellar connection that had seemed so untouchable at the start and started wobbling the moment I began feeling insecure about succumbing to the bite of a shiny, purple liquor snake.
Of which my second doze was giving me a nice, gentle buzz not unlike one gets after a good, strong long island ice tea or a couple of shots of vodka.
"I know who might be able to help you, though." Chief said, with a stern, but friendly look on his face. "Oh, please, tell me who." I said, immediately aware at the stupidity of wanting a bowling ball in a universe that didn't even have bowling lanes. Let alone all the other machinery used to make up a bowling alley. For all I know they didn't even have beer, another crucial component, as the preferred way of getting intoxicated out here seemed to be from getting snake bites.
"Babalatchi, the great wizard." Chief said, emphasising 'great' as if there was something more awesome than being able to scan the ENTIRE universe with your mind and transporting people there by just the power of your will.
"Actually," I said, coming up with a new idea now I had accepted the futility of going after our bowling ball "if you can transport people anywhere with your own powers. Couldn't you just zap us home, to our original dimension?"
Again, I didn't really wanna go yet. But if us going there, at some point, would be as easy as the chief folding his arms and wiggling his nose at us. I could forget all about that part of our adventure and focus on getting fucked up with my gal in this crazy wonderland full of topless tree people and their super awesome serpent drugs.
"Sorry, I can't." the chief answered. "our transportational powers only extend to this world, the entire universe of it perhaps. And we can scan other dimensions with our mind, but up until now we’ve never been able to come up with a way to send people there, alive at least.”
"I guess we'll go see Babalatchi then.." I sighed, shrugging my shoulders and pressing another snake into my leg.